


Shrine of Your Light

by nevermindgrantaire



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Camping, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Genderfluid Character, Pining, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 22:30:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3335162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevermindgrantaire/pseuds/nevermindgrantaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Courfeyrac organises a camping trip.<br/>Enjolras and Grantaire end up paired together, to both of their chargrin.<br/>Grantaire is pining away her heart and Enjolras is breezing through everything like an insensitive but beautiful hurricane as per usual but you never know. It might end up ok, in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shrine of Your Light

“Is this _really_ a good idea?”

Grantaire looks up the trail, and then back to Courfeyrac, who is bouncing up and down on her heels with excitement. The pale sun is streaming through the sprouting leaves of the trees above them and it’s cold enough that their breath is puffing out like dragon smoke. Behind them, the others are unloading Bahorel’s van, figuring out who’s going to be carrying what. Jehan is chewing on the end of their pipe, trying hopelessly to blow smoke rings in the cold air. Feuilly is huddled down in a bright pink rain coat that matches the colour of his nose, cramming tent pegs into his rucksack.

“It’s a great idea,” Courf says with a grin like an overexcited puppy.

“Camping. In the middle of winter. In the middle of the woods. With no permission from the landowners or whatever.”

“Yeah! And it’s not winter. It’s spring now. Look.” Courf gestures to a little flower sprouting on the grassy bank beside the path.

“Hmmm.” Grantaire mutters sceptically.

“It’s gonna be like, team building and stuff. I’ve got a load of activities for us to do! It’s going to be fun!” Courf glances back to the van, where Enjolras is pushing dirt around with the toe of her expensive walking boots bought specially for the occasion. She looks utterly miserable. Her glasses are perched on top of her head, sunglasses balanced on her nose. Honestly she looks like she’d be much more comfortable back in town in the library but she already agreed to it and now she can’t back out. She’s so pretty, even looking like the human embodiment of grumpy cat. It makes Grantaire’s heart hurt.

“I’m surprised you managed to get her to come.” Grantaire follows her eye line with a rueful smile.

“So am I. One of my more… impressive achievements.” Courf smiles smugly and flicks her braids over her shoulder. She’s wearing shorts, short denim shorts and thigh-high socks and a massive bright pink hoodie. Impractical for a hike through the woods. “Still,” she says and smirks at R cryptically. “You both might enjoy this trip more than you think.”

Grantaire frowns at her, confused, and watches her turn and bounce down to where the others are standing, allocating the bags.

She stands for a moment, staring out into the woods. It’s one of her favourite places, these woods. She always drives out here when she’s alone, spends hours walking through and sketching and finding places to sit and think. Maybe this isn’t such a bad idea.

Her train of thought is broken off by Eponine shouting from the van. “R!”

“Coming!”

Her battered blue converse skid on the stones of the path as she jogs down the path, the curls of her hair peeping out from underneath her beanie hat and bouncing as she runs. When she stops beside Eponine, she pings one of them. “The green bag’s yours, right?” She says, pointing at a big green canvas rucksack lying on the floor beside her. It’s covered in badges- a little pink, blue and purple one with Bi Pride written on it, a patch from a concert that she went to with Jehan, an ABC badge from their meetings at the Musain, a home-made cat badge that Joly gave her, a braided scoobido on the zipper from Eponine back when they were little.

“Yeah, that’s mine.”

“Cool. Can we put some of the food in it? We got a bunch of veggie food for you and Jehan and Ferre.”

“Sure, that’s fine. You want me to take a tent?”

Eponine hands her a stack of Tupperware boxes and she takes them and crams them into the top of the bag. “No, I’m pretty sure we’re all good. We haven’t worked out who’s sharing with who yet, though.”

“Eh. I don’t mind,” she shrugs, slinging the bag over her shoulder.

“You know, I think this is going to be fun,” Eponine says, smiling. Grantaire grins back, glad to see her happy for once. It’s unusual to see her looking this happy, but then again it’s a full weekend away from her parents which has got to be a good thing. Her eyes slide sideways to where Marius Pontmercy is jabbering away at Courf and Cosette, their newly cut short hair curling in a duck tail at the nape of their neck and their hands moving too fast as they try to explain some ridiculously complicated concept. It’s got to be rough watching the person you love and the girl you grew up with slowly fall in love, Grantaire thinks. Eponine is looking down, zipping up her back and she decidedly does not look up even though she knows where R is looking. Her smile doesn’t slip but it dims a little for a second before it’s back in full force.

Grantaire shakes her thoughts out of her head and grabs her hand. “Come on, honey,” she says, and Eponine beams at her.

“Ok. Lets go!”

 

*****

 

 

They set off walking through the woods, winding along the path in twos and threes. Courf heads up the procession with Marius beside her and Ferre on the other side pointing out birds and plants and trees as they pass.

Bahorel and Feuilly follow after them, giggling together and playing music out of their phones (but quietly so that it doesn’t scare off Ferre’s birds). Jehan is in a world of their own, over-ear headphones on and pipe in mouth, gazing around them at the trees and at the sky and scribbling in their notebook messily as they walk.

Cosette and Musi are walking together arm in arm, Bossuet beside them carrying most of Musi’s bags with a happily resigned look on his face. Beside him, Joly is buzzing with excitement at spending time with all his friends. He’s almost as over excited as Courf, keeping a look out for tree roots and trying to stop Bossuet from tripping over as he goes.

Behind them, basically bringing up the rear are Grantaire and Eponine. They had started out nearer the front but had slowly dropped back as Grantaire realised that Eponine probably didn’t want to be walking right next to Marius. And then behind them, dragging her feet and desperately trying to get phone signal, is Enjolras.

After only about an hour of walking, her long blonde hair is full of leaves and sticks and her cheeks are bright red. She’s wearing blue jeans and a white shirt that goes vaguely see-through when the sun shines on it (which Grantaire definitely doesn’t notice, honest!) and a poufy bright red jacket, and a scowl on her face the size of Russia.

“Are you alright?” Grantaire calls back to her.

Enjolras grunts irritably, poking at her phone screen.

“Look, you’re gonna have to relax at some point,” Grantaire says with a smirk, slowing down to draw level with her. “And you’re not gonna get any phone signal, no matter how much you glare at me.”

Enjolras sighs, loudly. A pigeon is startled off the branch of a tree above them, and goes flapping off into the sky. “Unfortunately, unlike you, I actually do have important stuff to do other than sit around and splash paint around all day.”

“Oooh, insults already?” R smirks, and then sighs. “Whatever makes you happy, I suppose.”

Enjolras tries to flip her hair over her shoulder, but her fingers get stuck. A leaf goes tumbling out onto her shoulder. She turns her phone off and drops it into her pocket. “There.” She snarks. “Happy now?”

“Exceedingly.”

She sighs and keeps walking. R watches her, noticing her limping a bit.

“New shoes?”

“Yeah. Giving me blisters.”

“I’ve got a spare pair of socks somewhere- you want to borrow them?”

Enjolras narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Why are you being nice to me?”

“Well, if you don’t want them, I-”

“No, no, no!” She blurts. “Ok, no. Thank you.”

R grins and swings her bag of her shoulder, rummaging around and pulling out a pair of starry night socks. “I’m nice all the time,” She says. She throws them over to Enjolras, who tries to catch them, misses and juggles with them for a few seconds before dropping them to the floor. “I am a fucking delight. Oops, sorry.”

Stopping walking for a moment, she sits down on a nearby rock and tugs off her shoes, wincing. “Ow.”

“Ahhhh. That looks painful.” Grantaire’s eyes widen. “Hang on, I’ve got plasters somewhere.” She finds them, slaps the packet down on the side of the rock. “Here you go. I’m like a walking dispensary. See, I can be useful sometimes, can’t I?”

Enjolras looks up at her with the sunlight shining in a pretty pattern over her face, the light catching on her lip and it makes her want to reach out and touch. She laughs a little and it sounds like summer and R can’t help but slip more and more head over heels for her because she wants so badly to make her laugh over and over again. “Thank you,” Enjolras says and finishes sorting out her sock. She tests it out, standing up and taking a few tentative steps. “That’s so much better.”

“Ok, good,” R says. “Cos you’d better run. Everyone else has almost disappeared up the path now.”

Enjolras looks up. “Shit.”

 

****

 

Finally they reach a clearing, right up at the top of a hill.

“This is the perfect place,” Courf announces loudly, and everyone stops with a sigh of relief.

The clearing is surrounded by trees, with a clear patch of sky directly above. The ground is dry, with a couple of stones scattered around- Feuilly and Jehan have already started to pick them up and set them down in a circle to build their fire in. Everyone ditches their bags in the centre, and Courfeyrac drills them all into a line.

“Ok!” She says. “In this hat-” She waves around a floppy summer hat. “- there is a slip of paper with everyone’s name in. I’m going to choose two names out of the hat for each tent. Ok? There will be no trading or swapsies.”

“I feel like I’m on a school trip right now,” Eponine hisses to R out of the corner of her mouth.

“Right. First tent!” She rummages around in the hat, and pulls out two slips. “Combeferre and Eponine!”

Eponine looks across the clearing to Ferre, who smiles at her a little nervously. He’s rubbing his neck awkwardly, like a little kid with a crush. Grantaire grins. “That’s good. He’s always saying he’d like to get to know you better.”

“He is?” Eponine murmurs, a blush flushing across her cheeks. She looks at the floor.       

R laughs and gives her a little push. “Go on, go chat.”

Courfeyrac looks on approvingly. “Right! Next tent. Ummm. Cosette and… me! Yay!”

Cosette steps forward. “We are going to have the best tent ever,” she says.

“Joly and Jehan... Bossuet and Musichetta... Feuilly and Bahorel.”

Grantaire freezes. Wait, what? There’s only two names that haven’t been read out yet… She looks over to Enjolras, who meets her eyes across the clearing. No. No, this can’t be happening. Courfeyrac reaches into the hat and Grantaire watches with the dread of someone waiting for the results of the hunger games. She’s beaming, her teeth bright white as she reads the slips out loud. “Enjolras and Grantaire!”

“No,” Grantaire whispers under her breath. Two nights sleeping next to the girl she’s lusted after since she saw her in the crowd at the Musain. Two nights sleeping next to the one person in the group that she’s pretty sure actually hates her and would willingly push her tent off a cliff given the chance. There is no way that this can end well.

Enjolras is walking over towards her and she shuts her eyes. Noooooo. This can’t be happening. Beside her, Enjolras clears her throat awkwardly. “Listen,” She says. “I know you don’t exactly like me, but I know you were kind of excited about this trip so I hope we can try and be on good terms for the weekend.”

R opens her eyes, her mouth twisting into a slightly bitter smile. “No arguing? Damn. Spoilt my whole plan!”

Grudgingly, Enjolras smiles back. “Ok. Good.”

Grantaire looks around, where the others are all starting to put up their tents. They’re tiny, mismatched 2 person tents- the kind that’s meant to be pop up. “Let’s get started, then. This shouldn’t be too hard.”

 

****

 

“This is much harder than expected,” Grantaire huffs.

Glaring at two connecting pieces of tube, Enjolras nodded. “I thought it was meant to pop up.”

“Apparently we got the one tent that doesn’t.” She pulls off her beanie, ruffling her hand through her dark hair and stretching. Enjolras is staring at her, she notices out of the corner of her eye. “What?” She yawns.

“Hmm? Oh. Nothing!” Her head snaps back down to the poles, finally getting them to attach. “Yay!”

“Well done! I think that bit goes through here… and then this one needs to go in there and attach to that bit and then we put that bit there, and…” She crawls inside the semi-standing tent, looking around inside. “Done!”

There is a moment’s pause before it all comes tumbling down around her ears.

“Fuck.”

Enjolras giggles, lifting the fabric up so that she can crawl out. “Ok, so I think we need to start again.”

“Ughhh!” R groans, but she’s smiling and soon she’s giggling too.

They both reach for the instructions at the same time.

“Oh!”

“Um…” Enjolras looks at her hand, and then looks up at her through her eyelashes. “Oops!”

Grantaire blushes, snatching her hand back. “You take it.”

Enjolras picks up the instructions, and bites her lip as she reads them, pulling the glasses from on her head and putting them on. “Oh, for pity’s sake.”

“What?”

“We’ve been following the plans upside down.”

Grantaire groans and looks towards the other tents, where everyone else is all sorted and planning what they’re going to do in the evening. “We’ve got about an hour until it gets fully dark, so I guess we’d better get going.”

 

****

 

When they’ve finally finished putting the outside bit of the tent up and crawling around inside trying to straighten out the ground sheet, Courfeyrac and Jehan are waiting outside with party poppers. Grantaire laughs even though her nerves are utterly frayed and all she wants to do is crawl back into the tent and go to sleep.

“You finished?” Courf says.

Enjolras nods. “Yeah, I reckon so.”

“Cool.” Courf gestures to the others hovering around in the centre. “We’re all going to split up the chores based on the pairs we’re sleeping in. Cosette’s making a chart.”

“Great,” Grantaire mumbles, and Enjolras elbows her in the side, smirking.

“We’ll be over in a sec, just let us dump our bags in the tent and we’ll come down and help,” Enjolras says, and Courfeyrac looks over at Jehan and winks. She frowns. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing!” Courf says, and shoos them away quickly.

They quickly chuck the bags in and hurry down to join the rest of the group, with R making a bee-line for Joly and Bossuet who both throw their arms around her and pull her down onto the ground to sit beside her. Enjolras watches her go, and then quietly plops down beside Ferre.

“Right, now that we’re all here I think it’s about time for us all to start dividing up our chores. Musichetta and Feuilly have already volunteered to do the cooking for tonight-” Bossuet and Grantaire whoop loudly. Musi’s cooking is legendary amongst their friends. “- meaning that Bossuet and Bahorel are going to be helping them. Jehan and Joly already volunteered to go and collect water… There’s a stream some place around here with clean water in.”

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Joly pipes up, and Courf nods.

“Absolutely. I’ve been camping out in these woods and drinking that water all my life and I’ve never had a problem before, honestly. But even so, we’re going to boil the water before we drink it, just to be safe.” She clears her throat. “Anyway. Grantaire, Enjolras? Would you mind going into the woods to find us some fire wood?”

Beside R, Bossuet starts humming _Into the Woods_ under his breath.

“You can go that way, we’ll go this way.”

“Sure, that’s no problem.” Enjolras says and R groans internally because spending the whole trip with goddess-girl was not exactly what she had planned.

“Fine,” she sighs, and lets Enjolras pull her away from the circle and into the woods.

 

****

 

“This was not a good idea.”

“Agreed.” Enjolras says, blinking in the darkness. Her arms are full of sticks and small branches, and so are R’s- they managed to gather plenty of firewood, that’s true.

Unfortunately they didn’t manage to find their way back to the clearing before it went dark and now they’re stumbling down the path (or what they hope is the path) in the pitch blackness.

“It just got dark so quickly!” Enj continues, hopelessly. She puts her hands out, trying to feel the way and accidentally hits R in the face.

“Ow! Wait, hang on!” R says, and Enj stops. “Ok. You’ve still got your phone, haven’t you? So we can put the light on your phone on and use it as a torch!”

“Um. Ok, yes that might work!” She rummages around in her pocket, pulling her phone out and turning the screen on. The light pools around their feet. “This… is not helping me.”

“Oh! Shine it up that way, I think I recognise that tree! No, not that one, over here… Look, give me the phone.”

She can see Enjolras scowl at her in the faint blue glow as she smacks the phone into her hand. “There we go. Ok, take my hand and I’ll lead you if you can’t see.”

Enjolras hesitates for a moment and then R feels her slip her hand into hers. She holds on tightly, a little nervous. Her palms are sticky, but her fingers are ice cold.

“You ok?”

“Yeah. No. I don’t like the dark.”

“Ahh. It’s ok, don’t worry. I know the way from here, we’re only a few minutes from camp.”

“Ok. Can you keep talking to me? It helps.”

“Haha, that’s unusual. Normally you’re begging me to stop talking.” She pauses and gives her hand a squeeze. “It’s ok. What do you want me to talk about?”

“Anything. Tell me about yourself. I realised I don’t actually know anything about you at all considering how much time I spend around you.”

“Um, ok then. I mean, you know I’m an art student. And I live in my own flat right now because Feuilly moved out and I was going to move too cos I couldn’t afford the rent but I got lucky and someone actually bought a painting. So yeah.”

“I knew all that.” Enjolras flaps the hand she’s holding. “I mean the important stuff, you know?”

“Uh. My favourite colour is green?” She thinks hard. “I have a sister back home, Celeste. I miss her a lot sometimes but it’s mostly ok. I really want a St Bernards puppy and my favourite author is Terry Pratchett. My favourite food is obviously chocolate but chips are also good. I spend too long reading poetry that Jehan sends me when I’m meant to be working.” She squeezes her hand. “We’re really close to being back now.”

“Ok, good.” She pauses and then frowns. “I just realised.”

“What?”

“I don’t actually know your first name.”

“And you’re not going to. None of the others know it either, except Joly and Courf.”

“How did Courf find out?” Enjolras laughs.

“Sat on my face until I told her.”

“Uh… I didn’t know you and Courf were…”

“No, no! Not like that, oh my god. No. She sat on my head, fully clothed, might I add, for the pure purpose of being annoying.”

Enjolras smirks. “Is that what I have to do to get you to tell me?”

R can feel a blush spreading across her face, and she clears her throat. “No! It’s not likely I’m going to tell you at all. And anyway, I don’t know your name either!”

“I’ll trade.”

“What, tell you mine and you’ll tell me yours?”

“Yeah, if you like?”

“Um. Ok, sure, why not.” She takes a deep breath. “My full name is Maxine Elspeth Grantaire.”

Enjolras sighs, disappointed. “Oh come on, that’s not even that bad!”

“What? It’s bad!”

“Not as bad as mine.”

“Go ahead then, what’s yours?”

Enjolras paused, teasing a tounge along her lip. “Um, actually…”

“No, you can’t back out of it!”

“Well, I can, because I am backing out.”

“No, that’s not fair!”

They’re getting close to the clearing and they can see light flickering through the trees but Enjolras doesn’t let go of her hand so Grantaire doesn’t either. “It’s fair!”

R laughs, bumping their shoulders together. “You suck.”

“At least I don’t… blow.” Enjolras finishes lamely.

“Tell me!”

“No!”

“Tell me!”

“No!”

“Tell me, tell me, tell me!”

“No, no, argh!” Grantaire reaches out and tickles her neck, and she squeaks, squirming away in a messy puddle of giggles. “Nooooooooo…” She protests weakly, flapping her hands at R. “Noooooo…”

“Tell me then, you hopeless meanie!”

Enjolras gasps, breathless, and stumbles out into the clearing still holding tight onto R’s hand and with an armful of branches in her other arm. “I’m not telling you!” She breathes, between giggles, spinning them around to avoid R.

“Well, you two look like you’re having fun!” Bossuet calls from across the clearing, where they’ve already set up a campfire and got it burning quite well.

R pulls her hand away, and Enjolras straightens up, blushing. “Uh, yeah. Sure. We bought you some sticks.”

Cosette rolls her eyes. “It’s cool, we’re mostly sorted. But you can put them down here and we’ll use them later on. You took your time.”

R clears her throat and crosses to sit down beside them by the fire, warming her ice-cold hands. “We got lost,” she says, gruffly.

Enjolras watches her, seeing the light from the fire dancing on her face and looks down at the floor for a second, her smile fading. She sits down next to Combeferre, leaning on his shoulder.

Someone hands R a beer, and she takes a big gulp and works up the energy for a smile. “I’m starving, by the way.”

“We were waiting for you to get back to start the food,” Marius pipes up from the other side of the fire, their stomach audibly growling as they speak. Cosette giggles at their side, and they blush. “I’m starving too!” They say defensively.

It’s one of those nights, one of those perfect nights where it feels like she’s surrounded by love. Joly and Musi and Bossuet beside her are all feeding each other in a cutesy way and it inevitably dissolves into a food fight. Jehan is leaning back with their head on her lap, picking out food off her plate and staring up into the starry sky. Every time her eyes meet Enjolras, she feels her warmth die a little- it’s nice to pretend that she could love her, nice to think that Enjolras might see her for more than just an idiot who can’t be serious. But of course it’s not going to happen. She has to accept that. She tries to keep her mind off it and with all her friends around her laughing and fooling around it seems much easier.

Out there, in the woods, it’s easier to breathe.

 

*****

 

It gets awkward again when it’s time to go to bed.

Bit by bit people start to break off from the main group and drift towards their tents, finding torches and lanterns and nestling down in their sleeping bags. Enjolras is one of the first to go, of course, giving Courf an apologetic look and slinking off to their tent. The moment she turns away, R is watching her go.

Joly pokes her leg. “You’re being obvious, love.”

“What? No, I’m not! I mean. What about?”

He sighs sagely, stretching his feet out towards the fire and tugging on the strap of his binder to adjust it. Bossuet leans his head on his. Musi stretches too, leaning her curvy legs over the top of theirs. “It’s obvious. You and Enj. I’d talk to her about it if I were you.”

R sighs. “You’re drunk.”

“Yes,” Joly agrees. “And you’re not. Trying to impress her?”

“It won’t work,” R says quietly. “I know.”

Joly shrugs. “She looks at you too.”

“She does.” Jehan lifts their head up from her lap, eyes widened earnestly.

R stares at them for a few minutes, narrowing her eyes. Then she stands up. “I can’t deal with this, I’m going to bed.”

There is a chorus of “Good night!” from everyone, and she sways off towards her tent.

Enjolras is reading when she gets in, her hair brushed out and pulled up on top of her head in a messy bun. She’s wearing her glasses and biting her lip as she reads. She’s wearing a baggy white and red raglan shirt and black shorts tight around her chubby thighs, her knees tucked up to her chest. The sleeves are too long, like sweater paws.

R sighs. She’s adorable.

She rummages around in her bag to find her pyjamas and then looks up at Enjolras. “Do you mind if I change in here?”

“No, no, go ahead. I won’t look, don’t worry.”

R nods, and shrugs her shirt off, then pulls her t-shirt over her head. She doesn’t notice the flush that spreads over Enjolras’ cheeks as she unclips her bra and pulls a big “Taste the Rainbow!” shirt over her head. Her ribs are straining under the skin, her stomach taut. R hates the narrowness of her frame, the shapelessness of her body. She tugs the shirt down quickly and wriggles out of her jeans and into a pair of old jogging bottoms. “So about earlier…”

Enjolras puts the book down with an exasperated grin. “I’m not going to tell you my first name!”

R smirks. “I could always ask Courfeyrac.”

“Jokes on you, Courf doesn’t know.”

“Ferre then.”

“Ferre won’t tell you, he’s actually loyal!”

“Ugh.” Grantaire flops into her sleeping back and rolls over to look at her. “Tell me!”

“Nope. Maybe if you’re nice to me…”

“Oh, I can be nice. I can be very, very nice.” R says, and then mentally slaps herself. That sounded like an awful cheesy pick up line…

Enjolras blushes and hides behind her book a bit.

“Anyway!” R clears her throat.

“Anyway,” Enjolras agrees. “If you try anything I can tell the others about your name. Can’t I, Maxie?”

“No! Don’t you dare!” Grantaire squeaks. “I’ll just tickle you to death.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah!” She reaches across, running her hands up Enjolras’ sides again so that she shrieks and tries to roll away inside, burrowing into her little cocoon to escape. Then she retaliates, lunging back at Grantaire and detatching herself from the sleeping bag. She rolls them both over so that her legs are around R’s waist and there’s a moment of desperate giggling where they don’t quite realise what’s happened.

Then realisation comes and Enjolras slips off her, back to her own duvet. There is a silence.

“You know,” she says after a pause. “I am glad that I came on this trip.”

“Good. Me too.” R agrees, breathless and with eyes damp half from the laughter and half from the little twist she feels in her chest every time she remembers that this little bit of heaven is not going to last.

“I’m glad I’ve got to know you a lot better.”

Ow. Enjolras reaches out and turns the lantern off, and R is glad because it hides her pained expression. “I’m glad too,” she manages, and then she rolls over away from her. “Good night.”

 

*****

 

Grantaire wakes up in the night, shivering. It’s got so cold, so much colder than she expected and she rummages around for a hoodie and tugs it on.

“R? Are you awake?”

“Enjolras? The cold woke you too, huh?”

She reaches out and flicks on the lantern, figuring she’s not going to get back to sleep any time soon.

“That’s my hoodie,” Enjolras says, her sleepy face peeping out from her mound of blankets and sleeping bag.

R looks down, realises that she picked up Enj’s hoodie by mistake and blushes.

“Don’t worry about it. Looks good on you. I like it.”

R smiles weakly and unzips her sleeping bag to crawl back in, but Enjolras stops her. “Come in with me. I need a hot water bottle and you’re the nearest thing.”

R dithers for a second.

“Plus you’re probably hotter,” She continues. She probably has a serious case of half-asleep brain, R realises.

“Are you sure?”

“My hands are turning into blocks of ice. Feel.” Grantaire squeaks and pulls away as Enjolras reaches out and brushes her neck.

“You’re freezing!”

“Come to bed with me, then.”

R sighs, still a little unsure. But her limbs are stiff with cold and she’s so freezing, so she swallows her doubts and crawls in beside Enjolras.

Her hands and feet are icy and she instantly presses both against her. But it’s better than in R’s own bed- she can feel the warmth radiating from her core. She presses her face into Enjolras’ neck, trying to warm her ice-cold cheeks. “Is this ok?”

“Yeah. It’s good.”

“Good.”

 

*****

 

Grantaire wakes with Enjolras’ arms wrapped around her waist and with her face buried in her neck and their legs tangled together, and thinks that right now she could die happy.

She’s so warm and so peaceful that she almost doesn’t hear Enjolras say “Oh, you’re awake!”

“Wha- Oh shit, I’m so sorry!” She tries to roll away, and gets all caught up in the sleeping bag, trying hopelessly to wriggle away.

Enjolras catches her arm. “No, stay!” Grantaire stills, looking at her suspiciously. “This is… nice.” Her voice falters a bit and she drops her arm. “I mean. If you want to.”

“I want to,” Grantaire says a little too quickly, and she’s a little unsure how to do it but she manages to wriggle back into Enjolras’ arms. It is nice- it should feel awkward but it doesn’t somehow, just warm and safe. She swears she can feel Enjolras’ lips pressed into her hair, her breath stirring her messy bed-head curls every time she breathes out. She slides a foot up Enjolras’ leg, eliciting a squeak from the other girl. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Shhhhhh.” Enjolras squishes her face. “It’s ok.”

She doesn’t want to think any more, just wants to stay like this forever.

 

Eventually, though, Courf is tapping on the canvas of the tent. “Are you decent?” She calls.

Enjolras absentmindedly answers, “Yes!” before realising that R is still in her sleeping bag and R goes to scramble up into her own side but it’s too late and Courfeyrac is opening the flap.

“Oh, hello,” Courf grins toothily, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Shut up, Courf.” Enjolras blushes, scrambling out of the sleeping back and shuffling over to her bag to dig out a pile of clothes.

“It’s sweet. Snuggling up like a pile of puppies.”

“We weren’t doing anything,” R protests.

“Sure.”

“Honestly!”

“Mm hmm.” Courf grins as they both glare at her. “Anyway. We’re doing breakfast, come on!”

Grantaire sighs and zips the tent up as Courf leaves, and looks down- she’s a bit tired and can’t really be bothered to change so she just tugs off her sweat pants and pulls on yesterday’s jeans and a baggy green jumper. “You coming?”

Enjolras is biting her lip, pulling on a clean pair of dark red jeans and a pair of fluffy grey socks. “I’m sorry about Courf,” she says abruptly.

“Oh, it’s ok, don’t worry. I know what she’s like.”

“No, but… I mean. I know she’s going to think that we’re… and I know you don’t like me like that…”

“Mmm,” Grantaire agrees quietly, and ducks out of the tent.

She chews on her lip as she wanders over to the fire and grabs a mug from the box of crockery, filling it from one of the bottles and gulping down a mouthful of water. Joly is trying hopelessly to light the fire when she walks up, and he grins at her. “You ok?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You got a good night’s sleep, according to Courf.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

She groans, slumping down onto the floor beside him. “Are you serious? She’s telling people about that?”

“Of course. It’s Courf.” He finally manages to light the match and cheers, only for it to blow out again. “Damn. She’s pretty proud of herself. Reckons that her match making played off and you two are going to get together by the end of the trip.”

“Crap,” Grantaire says, and tries to shrink inside her jumper. “No, she can’t do that! Enjolras doesn’t like me and if Courf keeps messing around like this she’s going to make it even worse than it already is.”

“From what I heard, she definitely likes you well enough.”

Grantaire blushed, burying her face in her jumper. “Oh my god!”

Joly chuckles. “Chill, buddy.”

“God, all we did was share a sleeping bag to keep warm.”

There’s a pause, and then Joly puts a hand on her shoulder. “Are you ok, R?”

The top of her head that’s left visible from her jumper shakes no.

“Look, I’m sorry for teasing you… I’ll tell Courf to stuff it if you like.”

Grantaire’s head peers out from the jumper. “Don’t worry about it, it’s ok. I’m just going to… I’m going to go and take a walk.”

“Um, ok?” Joly says, going back to the fire. “Be careful, alright? I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok, Joly, don’t worry. Not your fault I fell for someone way, way out of my league.”

Joly clucks his tongue, concerned, but turns back to the fire anyway as Grantaire turns to walk out into the woods.

 “R! Wait!”

She whirls round, and Enjolras is running towards her, floppy bun bouncing on her head and cheeks flushed from running. If she wasn’t feeling like shit, she’d take the piss out of her normally perfectly styled hair but right now she’s not exactly feeling funny.

“Wait- a- sec!” Enjolras puffs, getting her breath back.

“Are you ok?” R says, frowning.

“Fine. I don’t run much.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” R says dryly.

“Shut up, this is serious,” Enjolras says, even though she cracks a small smile. “Look, I know that Courf can be annoying with her ‘I can fix anything’ shit, but you know she doesn’t really mean anything by it.”

R sighs. “I know. I just…”

“I know.” She bites her lip. “If it’s any consolation, I’m really sorry.”

“Why’re you sorry? If anything I should be apologising to you.”

“What? No, it’s my fault Courf started this whole thing in the first place.” She sighs. “Look. I just. It’s been nice getting to know you yesterday, and… Well. Last night.

“Yeah.” R sighs. “Sorry my feelings messed it up.”

“What?” Enjolras frowns and then nods. “Oh. Yeah. Don’t worry, I understand.”

R smiles a little bitterly, and looks away.

“I can go, if I’m annoying you..?”

“No, no. It’s ok. If you want to stay, I mean.”

Enjolras nods.

There’s a pause, a long silence that stretches on and on.

Enjolras breaks it, eventually. Her fingers brush R’s sleeve. “I’m sorry, I just. It’s not just that I like you. I like you a lot more than I like a lot of people, especially after this trip. I liked you anyway. It’s that I don’t know how to do this, I don’t know how it works. I want to be your friend. I want to be more than your friend even though I know that you don’t want me and I’m not sure how to deal with that. You didn’t do anything wrong just because you don’t feel the same way. And I know I’m probably making you really uncomfortable so I’ll go back to camp now. I’m just…” She pauses for breath and notices that R has stopped. “I’m sorry.”

Grantaire presses her lips together. “Did I hear you right then?”

“Um. Yes? I assume so?”

“I like you. I love you. I’ve loved you for such a long time, I didn’t know what I was going to do when Courf put us together for the trip. It’s like torture being close to you sometimes, I swear. And you’re saying that you like me back?”

Enjolras is starting to smile, slouching in her pyjamas with her knee high socks slipping down and her hair messy and this is not the romantic way of confessing that R pictured but they have plenty of that to come because she’s starting to smile too and she feels perfect, like there’s light inside her. “I am. I like you back. More than like you.”

They stay grinning at each other for a moment, unsure and paralysed by their happiness.

“Is it ok if I-”

“Yes.”

Enjolras links their hands gently, using her hands to pull her closer. She takes a step forward so that they’re almost chest to chest, except that now she has to look up to be able to look Grantaire in the eye. She has to stand on tiptoes to press their lips together, and R tilts her head down, grinning like a clown.

“Not one word,” Enjolras growls, tipping herself up even higher onto her tip toes.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, shorty.” Grantaire grins and then kisses her again to stop her protests, bringing her hands around to cup her face.

They stay like that, for a long, long time, smiling and kissing.

Everything is ok.


End file.
